Resignation
by wombat-of-awesomeness
Summary: In which Bianca di Angelo is asexual and absolutely nothing changes. Rated T for discussions about sex.


Bianca di Angelo is six years old when she seriously considers marriage for the first time in her life. It's a quiet, sunny morning, and Nico is still asleep, but Bianca has always been an early riser.

She's just finished drinking her milk when her mother speaks.

"You're a pretty little thing," her mother comments between bites of toast, "it won't be long before all the boys will want to take you out dancing!"

Bianca tucks a strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously and giggles. "Mama!"

"What?" Maria beams down at her daughter, expression fond. "Before I know it you'll be walking down the aisle on your daddy's arm. Nothing I can do will stop that."

Maria rises from her chair and heads towards the sink; Bianca blinks after her. She's going to get _married _one day. For some reason, the idea doesn't thrill her as much as her mother obviously thought it would.

Bianca has plans for the future! She's going to be a nurse! She's going to help people! There's no way she'll have time to be a _wife!_

But her mother had never been wrong before, and her mother said that she would get married one day. Bianca resolves to put off matrimony for as long as she possibly can. After all, her mother had only said that she would be married, she hadn't said anything about when it would happen.

* * *

As the years go by, Bianca becomes resigned to her fate. She's going to get married one day, but that doesn't mean she's going to be happy about it! From time to time she allows herself to consider that maybe, after she grows up, she will fall in love.

Maybe she will want to be someone's wife one day.

Maybe she just needs to be older to understand.

Of course, her careful considerations are fruitless, and like all of her other memories and plans, they are washed away in the River Lethe.

* * *

The most popular subject of conversation in the Westover Hall girl's dormitory is who each girl _likes. _This is not, as Bianca first assumed, a simple conversation about possible friendships. Some of these girls are talking about their future _weddings_! Her roommate Charlene has mentioned _children!_

Bianca doesn't get it. Sure, some of these boys are decent looking, but why would these girls want to marry boys that they've hardly spoken to? And why on earth would Charlene want children? Bianca takes care of Nico because he's her brother, but she can't imagine voluntarily caring for any more children.

After she confirms to Charlene that yes, she's sure she doesn't like anyone, and no, she's not planning on getting married, Bianca is left out of the daily gossip session. She doesn't mind.

Bianca knows that there are grown women out there who are not married, but she has never met one personally. She overhears Mr. Smith telling Mr. Henry about his poor single sister, and her stomach drops.

To these people, an unmarried woman is something to be pitied. Bianca is disgusted.

* * *

Then Bianca learns about sex.

Her health class talks about it in September, and because she doesn't remember the name of the woman who took them out of the Lotus hotel, she can't have her guardian excuse her from attending the class.

One Tuesday, after health class gets out, the girls in her grade gather in Bianca and Charlene's room to whisper. They whisper about how of course they're going to wait until they fall in true love, but their older sisters tell them that sex is fun, and they can't wait to try.

Bianca is glad that they seem so happy, so she doesn't have the heart to ask them what about the concept of sex excites them. Their health teacher had gone into great detail about the process, and Bianca had felt vaguely horrified at the idea.

One girl says something about girls who have lots of sex being awful people, and then Bianca does want to say something. Because why should those girls be worth less than others just because they're doing something they enjoy?

Bianca asks the question out loud, but no one responds. She decides that they are either ignoring her, or they simply didn't hear her question. Either way, she's not brave enough to ask again.

* * *

One week after what Bianca has dubbed _the sex class_, she comes to a startling realization. Women who are married have children. Children are born because of sex. That means that once you get married, you have to start having sex!

Bianca thinks back to the conversations her teachers had, about her conclusion that people pity unmarried women.

She didn't want anyone's pity.

But she also didn't want sex.

Bianca shoves the conflict out of her thoughts. She has more important things to think about. She has to take care of Nico. She has to do well in school.

She can figure this out later.

* * *

And then Dr. Thorn turns into a monster, and strange kids with swords are telling her that one of her parents was a god, and Bianca doesn't know what's going to happen next.

When she is invited into Artemis' tent, Bianca isn't sure what to expect, but Zoë tells her of a life of running with sisters forever, and of never needing to have to worry about taking care of Nico ever again.

She speaks of never needing to rely on a man.

She speaks of never getting married.

Bianca stares up at her, hope growing with every word Zoë speaks. After the lieutenant has finished, Bianca asks her if this means that she will never have to share anyone's bed. Zoë smiles warmly and nods.

When Percy tries to talk her out of her decision a few minutes later, it makes Bianca resent him just a little bit. He doesn't understand, he just doesn't.

All of her dreams are coming true.

* * *

** I do not own Bianca di Angelo or any other ideas borrowed from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. **

**This fic is also posted on Archive of Our Own under the penname carrotspirit. **

**A/N:** **Thank you so much for reading! Special thanks to Aditi for listening to me ramble on about asexual Bianca months ago. **


End file.
